AFI.
Un groupe qui m'a changé. Un groupe qui a joué et chanté pour moi en loop éternel pendant plus d'un an dans mes écouteurs, lorsque je cherchais des réponses que personne ne semblait pouvoir me donner. Quand tout le monde alentours de moi s'est retourner et s'en est en aller, AFI est venu et est resté. Avec leur musique ils ont fait monter des crises de larmes, tourner le fer dans la plaie, accentuer ma rage contre tous ceux qui m'avaient laissé en plan le coeur vidé... Mais ils ont aussi calmer ma dépression, cicatrisés mes blessures et m'ont donner le courage d'affronter chaque jours auquel je devrais faire face à ceux qui m'avait accompagné -puis abandonné- dans une expérience de ma vie très importante. J'étais dans ma bulle et je n'avais besoin de personne d'autre puisque j'avais leur musique. J'étais en sécurité tant et aussi longtemps que leurs albums -mais surtout Sing The Sorrow- fredonnait dans le creux de ma tête. Non, depuis ce moment-là, je n'ait plus eu besoin de personne et j'ai arrêté d'être mal.
Un an à être dans ma bulle.
Un an à me contreficher si les gens vivaient ou mourraient. J'avais ma bulle à moi.
Mais je croit bien que ma bulle ne s'est jamais vraiment brisée, même s'i l * est dans ma vie depuis maintenant trois ans.
Quand j'ai finalement pu les voir en concert en juin 2003, j'ai eu ce sentiment de retrouvaille mélanger de "finalement, on se rencontre". Chaque note ouvrait une ancienne plaie tandis que le mot qui l'accompagnait la refermait. Quand ils ont enchaîné avec Death Of Seasons, j'ai faillit pleurer. C'était LA chanson qui décrivait ce que je vivait mentalement depuis plus d'un, depuis qu'il m'avait trahit. À la toute fin, quand Davey a gueuler en écho, j'ai eu mille et un frissons partout sur le corps, les yeux emrouillés de larmes. Quelqu'un comprenait. Quelqu'un savait ce que c'était cette torture mentale. Je suis ressortie du concert légerte... puisque je n'étais plus réellement seule.
Non, même aujourd'hui AFI me procure encore ce sentiment de
sécurité que personne ne pourra jamais me donner. Ils disent et jouent
ce que je ressens, ce qui me fait crever. C'est donc pourquoi j'ai décidé de mettre dans cette note toutes les paroles que j'aime, à partir de Answer That And Stay Fashionable à Decemberunderground.
Oui, le voilà mon grand hommage.
PS. Vous pouvez pas savoir comment je m'en fiche si vous me trouvez pathétique ou dramatique en ce moment.
Je vous crotte au nez. AFIXCORE, point final.
I don't deserve what I get, I have nothing to return.
It makes me whole, when I've been down on my luck.
If it's status that you lust then why try to be one of us?
You're someone we'll never trust 'cause we know the score.
I want to pogo dance, but Mom won't let me so I might just run away.
Into the dark is where you're draggin me
and into your dark is where I never want to
be. I know I'm not alone and I really want to leave.
Into the dark is where you want to watch me bleed.
I could always hope for change, could always hope to rearrange.
But why not just abandon hope
and tear it all apart, now?
Post, Kellogs, General Mills?
It's the cereal war.
I hope sexual chocolate is in stock, it's got a condom in the box.
But I keep it deep inside myself.
It's within me.
Keep it deep within yourself and sink with me.
Looking back at my short life, the few pleasures that I've found,
all your misconceptions pummel me to the ground.
Now, I look at your small life and it doesn't mean a bit.
I pick myself up off the ground 'cause I don't give a shit.
I'll save my life and lose my mental health. I've gone this far so I'll
keep trying.
We've got a problem? First of all there is no "we", I'm detached from you
completely.
I sleep until there is no light.
I'm wide awake all through the night.
Dinner may suck but I'll take a bite, I do whatever I can.
My muscles stiffen through the day.
Discomfort never goes away.
Someone should throw me away. I feel like a garbage can.
Throw me away, I've got no use.
Throw me away, I'm nothing to lose.
Throw me away, I feel like shit.
Forever unlucky, cause I'll own tomorrow. Forever unwanted, outcast today.
I'm not mislead, I've got no one to follow. Everywhere to go, no place to stay.
No hope at all. Take nothing from nothing and you'll have nothing left.
I can't recall. I can't recall a moment in my life when life was at it's best.
I'm not angry, I'm just amused at your quest for attention through your
self abuse.
The only response that you get for your plea is sorely less than sympathy.
I'd purify the world with one primal scream, but no one would listen.
Keep dark secrets to myself, because no one else will talk to me.
It's hard for me to comprehend, they couldn't understand
all the thoughts going through our heads.
We are the ones with the radiating eyes.
We are the Ones who have a fire inside.
We are the ones only we can recognize.
We've been rejected
I've never felt the nausea of longing to feel nothing,
I never wanted to cease to exist, just disappear.
Fear memories are all that lie ahead.
Never have I felt so lost.
Can you see the signs?
Can you see the changing of the winds?
Can you sense the stillness in the air?
Calm will remain...oh so shortly.
But i'll wait...till the seasons change.
i'll wait...till the fall comes.
I've seen the light that emanates from you,
and it makes me feel proud, a voice of reason above the muffling crowds.
Such will to live and you've got so much to give, long lost sincerity.
Lost in a world that's been scorched to black.
Disenchanted, disgusted, I regret that I trusted.
I put my faith.
My faith in you, you poisoned me through and through.
Take it all away.
Regress to nothing.
Can someone please take
these images from my mind?
Fall children fill the streets at dusk, at last, it all will begin.
One day through the rain I heard him meekly moan, he said
"Will you wrap your arms around me as I'm falling?"
Remember when Remember when
Remember when we were all so beautiful? Never Again Never Again
But since then we've lost our glow.
Hope unknown. Sometimes just waking is surreal.
I walk right through the nameless ones.
I know that hope's unknown.
Sometimes the water feels so real.
As I walk through it fills my lungs, my god, I'm drowning.
This day never seems to end.
This pain, never.
The rage I can not let go.
Through our bleeding, we are one.
Through the darkness breaks the light.
Through the light unending pain.
Deify the wretched ones till the darkness comes again.
In darkness together we're bringing the light.
In darkness together we are forming.
The fire tomorrow is born of the night, in darkness together we ignite.
Angels for everyone. For no lack of searching I can't seem to find one.
Angels in everyone. What of all their promises? Can't seem to find much more
than lies.
Angels in anyone. A permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Before I'd lay me down to rest, I'd throw away everything to live.
A deadly secret only I suffer to know.
I can't eradicate what awaits when I awake... break.
I die in my day dreams.
The vibrant heart so quickly growing old, the warmest eyes so quickly
growing cold.
Just a glance for they don't care to see what becomes of me.
My soul brings tears to angelic eyes.
And miles away my mother cries. Omnipotence, nurturing malevolence.
Beyond and to all time I stand.
Look what you've done to me now,
You've made me perfect.
Look what you've done to me now.
If you can't stand upon the earth then I see you on the other side.
Will you be my beloved?
Will you help me to get through?
Will you be my destruction?
Will you help me to be through?
Enter all monsters let us twist another fairy tale.
Go kill the lights, we'll glow till morning comes.
I'll say goodnight and bow to everyone.
Then we go under.
Assimilate into a culture of post morality, from what I've seen, I hate
humanity.
Rot with repulsion. I'll write the world a brand new song.
Look upon your bleak creation,
but is it truly me that's to be the human blasphemy?
I'll set the world on fire and,
in burning light I'll write my first love song and I will feel warmth.
My mind fights with the sparkles in the corner of my eyes.
I hear the morning choir sing to me their elegy.
So beautiful.
They sing to me their elegy. Requiem.
I fell into yesterday.
Our dreams seemed not far away
I want to, I want to, I want to stay.
I fell into fantasy
I'll meet you tonight in the whispers when no one's around.
Nothing can stop us now.
Tonight in the whispers where we won't be found.
Nothing can stop us now.
On the way I wrote words for you to keep.
On the way, I saw myself.
Lost myself along the way.
Am I the star beneath the stairs?
Am I a ghost upon the stage?
Am I your anything?
And I don't want to die tonight; Will you believe in me?
And I don't want to fall into the light.
Will you wish upon?
Will you walk upon me?
I don't want to die tonight.
Summer I painted, a scene, that lit the stars for me,
Said, "I can erase it for you dear."
Love your hate, your faith lost
You are now one of us
Love your hate, your faith lost
You are now one of us
Nothing from nowhere, I'm no one at all
Radiate, recognize one silent call
As we all form one dark flame... Incinerate
Don't waste your touch, you won't feel anything
Or were you sent to save me?
I've thought too much, you won't find anything...
Worthy of redeeming
Yo he estado aqui muchas veces antes y regreso
To... break down, and cease all feeling
Burn now, what once was breathing
Reach out, and you may take my heart away
I know what died that night, it can never be brought back to life
Once again, I know
I know I died that night and I'll never be brought back to life
Once again, I know
(If you listen) Listen, listen
(Listen close) Beat by beat
(You can hear when the heart stops) I saved the pieces
(When it broke) And ground them all to dust
Your sins into me
Oh, my beautiful one
Your sins into me
As a rapturous voice escapes, I will tremble a prayer
And I'll beg for forgiveness
Your sins into me
Oh, my beautiful one
What follows me as the whitest lace of light
Will swallow whole
Just begs to be imbrued?
What follows has lead me to this place
where I belong, with all erased
What follows will swallow whole
What follows will swallow whole
It won't be all right despite what they say
Just watch the stars tonight as they, as they disappear, disintegrate
And I disintegrate 'cause this hate is fucking real
And I hope to shade the world as stars go out and I disintegrate
I can remember... dreamt them so vividly
Soft creatures draped in white, light kisses gracing me
I can remember when I first realized
Dreams were the only place to see them
Just like romantic verses, just like a joyous end
Just like a memory, it twists me
Just like romantic verses, just like a joyous end
Twist... twisting me
You land as lightly as the new snow, cinematic
Onto the melting boy, and melt away
You light as gently, you're so cinematic
Bathed in your radiance, I melt
All the cracks, they lead right to me
And all the cracks will crawl right through me
All the cracks, they lead right to me
And all the cracks will crawl right through me, and I fell apart
As I... walked away, heard them say
"Poisoned hearts will never change"
Walked away again
Turned away in disgrace
Felt the chill upon my face cooling from within
We held hands on the last night on earth.
Our mouths filled with dust, we kissed in the fields and under trees,
screaming like dogs, bleeding dark into the leaves.
It was empty on the edge of town but we knew everyone floated
along the bottom of the river.
So we walked through the waste where the road curved into the sea
and the shattered seasons lay,
and the bitter smell of burning was on you like a disease.
In our cancer of passion you said, "Death is a midnight runner."
The sky had come crashing down like the news of an intimate suicide.
We picked up the shards and formed them into shapes
of stars that wore like an antique wedding dress.
The echoes of the past broke the hearts of the unborn
as the ferris wheel silently slowed to a stop.
The few insects skittered away in hopes of a better pastime.
I kissed you at the apex of the maelstrom and asked
if you would accompany me in a quick fall,
but you made me realize that my ticket wasn't good for two.
I rode alone.
You said, "The cinders are falling like snow."
There is poetry in despair, and we sang with unrivaled beauty,
bitter elegies of savagery and eloquence.
Of blue and grey.
Strange, we ran down desperate streets and carved our names in the flesh of the
city.
The sun was stagnated somewhere beyond the rim of the horizon
and the darkness is a mystery of curves and lines.
Still, we lay under the emptiness and drifted slowly outward,
and somewhere in the wilderness we found salvation scratched
into the earth like a message.
I cannot leave here, I cannot stay,
Forever haunted, more than afraid.
Asphyxiate on words I would say,
I'm drawn to a blackened sky as I turn blue.
There are no flowers, no not this time,
There'll be no angels gracing the lines,
Just these stark words, I find.
I'd show a smile, but i'm too weak,
I'd share with you could I only speak,
Just how much this, hurts me.
I cannot stay here, I cannot leave,
Just like all I loved, I make believe.
Imagine heart, I disappear, seems,
No one will appear, here and make me real.
There are no flowers, no not this time,
There'll be no angels gracing the lines,
Just these stark words, I find.
I'd show a smile, but i'm too weak,
I'd share with you could I only speak,
Just how much this, hurts me.
Just how much you...
This is what I brought you this you can keep,
This is what I brought you may forget me.
I promise you my heart just promise to sing,
Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep.
Listen when I say,
When I say it's real.
Real life goes undefined,
Why must you be so missable?
Everything you take,
Makes me more unreal.
Real lines are undefined.
How can this be so miserable?
Under the summer rain, I burnt away.
Under the summer rain,
You turned away.
I flee to, I flee to decemberunderground.
As you exhale, I breathe in and sink into,
The water underground,
And I grow pale without you.
It's in the blood,
It's in the blood.
I met my love before I was born.
He wanted love,
I taste of blood.
He bit my lip, and drank my war,
From years before.
One at a time, constants become surreal
One at a time, heart attacks are consealed
I can see that I lose the joys of life,
One at a time.
Suicides are revealed
You will see that I lost another life
But tonight
I'll let you tear it up,
If you don't wake me up.
But if you tear it, We can't repair it.
So please don't wake me,
Til someone cares.
Now no one cares.
"We all want to die like movie stars" you said as you jumped from the
height of our cutting room floor.
While above us glowing, exploding, our dreams burst forth in light in death.
Hold me and tell me,
"We'll burn like stars. We'll burn as we fall. Watch as the city lights DANCE
FOR US!"
Silence can you hear me?
Press me to your lips,
And I'll suck the poison out.
Who will heal me? me..
If you keep killing me,
How can I keep absolving?
Your sins into me,
Begin the poisoning.
We are no one.
"I will wait for you." She said,
Endlessly.
"I will wait for you." So spoke,
Misery.
I will die screaming!
Scream my last breath in useless anguish.
Tear the sun from the sky.
I will die screaming.
Die screaming!
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